I love it when I stumble into something. I don't like doing things, but I like things to happen.
Take, for instance, today. This is the first day I have even remotely felt like enjoying anything about Christmas. Mostly I hate the holiday, it's nothing but guilt trips and ungratefulness in my world. But yesterday while I was talking to the hubby about the holiday hell, I asked if we could take some time while we're visiting his family to go out and do a little dreamplanning at Little Farm in the North. (Wait, have I mentioned the LFITN yet? If not, I'm definitely feeling a massive post coming after the holidays. Be patient, it'll be here before you know it) And suddenly, immediately, I felt a massive weight lift from me and there was something about Christmas I was looking forward to. It's the only thing I'm looking forward to, and the only thing in probably a decade, but it's AMAZING how much it changed my whole outlook.
I found myself wanting to listen to Christmas music. I guarantee you that was the first time this season! Music is one of my most favoritest parts of Christmas, well of almost anything. I'm the spawn of two music majors, it's in my blood. So I busted out the ipod and the bose headphones (yeah yeah before you snark at me about "sheesh must be nice to be so rich", they were both free giveaways) I love the ipod and bose combo when I'm mowing lawn, the noise canceling effect is great! But I'm usually mowing lawn in my swimsuit or something else that has no pockets, so I've developed a habit of tucking the ipod under the band of the headphones (they're old-school, not ear buds) and now even when I'm not on the mower, I typically tuck the pod under there. Today I was making supper with the bose/pod combo going on, and was trying to be extra careful not to let the pod slide out from under the band and fall into a sink of dirty dishes or straight to the bottom of the oven or something equally dangerous to electronics. I was trying to keep my head as upright as possible (insert image of woman with book on head saying "how now brown cow") which lead me to doing lots of proper squats and lunges instead of just bending over. Good for the legs! Hopefully also better on the back.
Inadvertent exercise. Accidental Christmas joy. I was born under a lucky star.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Smeg-up #1
In my soul-baring to the hubbster last weekend, I made sure to tell him that I knew I would make mistakes and have stumbles, but asked him to please be patient with me.
Well, I'm having both. First of all, my little windowsill herb garden that I started last month
is growing quite nicely. The one pictured contains basil, chives, cilantro and dill. I have a second tray containing lemon basil (which I am not sure I care about, but it came in the kit) oregano, parsley and thyme. The downside is that our windows are lightly-tinted (just enough to block the worst of the furniture-fading UV rays, not so much that I feel like I'm living in the back seat of a rapper's car) so the plants were a little sunlight-starved. I put up a grow light. Now my sister in law is making fun of me... asking if that's REALLY oregano!
Anyway we had one day earlier in the week that was teetering on summer temperatures so I opened up the window to let the plants get some extra natural light. Then the mistake happened. I kinda forgot that the wind was blowing eight-freaking-hundred-miles-per-freaking-hour. The second tray tipped over. Oops! I didn't take a picture of that. Just imagine potting soil all over the carpet. Luckily two of the pots didn't really dump, their plants were big enough to hold everything in. But the thyme and oregano pots poured all over everywhere. I barely managed to salvage two teeny tiny little plants of each and tried replanting them. I wasn't holding my breath on that one though so I tossed a few more seeds in each pot too. Thankfully I had saved the not-empty seed packets after the first planting.
The strange thing is the replanted plants actually seem to be doing better now than they had been before the dumping. Weird. Everything else seems to be going along quite nicely too. If the dumped plants keep doing well, I'll just pluck out the seedlings when they sprout next week. I don't want to overcrowd the pots. I have actually thinned a bit more since the photo above was taken.
Then I slipped up, my ambition has gone out the window for a bit. This week the annual Christmas depression set in.. Before Thanksgiving I was hoping it wasn't going to be so bad this year. We're only making one stop instead of two on the 10-days-of-xmas-hell tour, and it's only going to be more like a 3-day tour instead of 10. But as soon as hubby mentioned making a wish list so his family could go shopping, the blues set in hard core. I struggled through making a list with him, he sent half off to his family, and I was supposed to send the other half to my family. That was two weeks ago. I just can't bring myself to do it. And I cry.
He was out of town last night for work, and I was going to take the day and a half on my own and spend it putting up some decorations. I really don't care to decorate, but I know he likes it. I mean it's not like we're here to enjoy it. Noooo, we have to be out of town. Bleh. Anyway, I brought a couple boxes upstairs. I even went so far as to put the artificial tree together. And then I cried even harder. And I walked away. And I felt so bad that I really felt like my throat was closing up. I couldn't breathe and I started to choke. So I took the tree apart and took the boxes back downstairs. I 'fessed up that I had gotten boxes out, but I didn't admit that I had actually assembled the tree. Somehow taking it back apart seems even more crazy.
And I cried.
And now I'm feeling down about everything in life again. I'll never be happy. No one likes me. Nothing I do is good enough. I'm going to be stuck in this living hell for the rest of my life. I'll never survive to get away from here. There's no point in going on.
All that because my family needs a gift wish list.
What the hell?
I'm trying to pick myself back up by the boot straps. I got the kitchen cleaned. I want to get all the floors cleaned before hubby gets home. We'll see. Wish me luck.
*deep breath*
Well, I'm having both. First of all, my little windowsill herb garden that I started last month
Anyway we had one day earlier in the week that was teetering on summer temperatures so I opened up the window to let the plants get some extra natural light. Then the mistake happened. I kinda forgot that the wind was blowing eight-freaking-hundred-miles-per-freaking-hour. The second tray tipped over. Oops! I didn't take a picture of that. Just imagine potting soil all over the carpet. Luckily two of the pots didn't really dump, their plants were big enough to hold everything in. But the thyme and oregano pots poured all over everywhere. I barely managed to salvage two teeny tiny little plants of each and tried replanting them. I wasn't holding my breath on that one though so I tossed a few more seeds in each pot too. Thankfully I had saved the not-empty seed packets after the first planting.
The strange thing is the replanted plants actually seem to be doing better now than they had been before the dumping. Weird. Everything else seems to be going along quite nicely too. If the dumped plants keep doing well, I'll just pluck out the seedlings when they sprout next week. I don't want to overcrowd the pots. I have actually thinned a bit more since the photo above was taken.
Then I slipped up, my ambition has gone out the window for a bit. This week the annual Christmas depression set in.. Before Thanksgiving I was hoping it wasn't going to be so bad this year. We're only making one stop instead of two on the 10-days-of-xmas-hell tour, and it's only going to be more like a 3-day tour instead of 10. But as soon as hubby mentioned making a wish list so his family could go shopping, the blues set in hard core. I struggled through making a list with him, he sent half off to his family, and I was supposed to send the other half to my family. That was two weeks ago. I just can't bring myself to do it. And I cry.
He was out of town last night for work, and I was going to take the day and a half on my own and spend it putting up some decorations. I really don't care to decorate, but I know he likes it. I mean it's not like we're here to enjoy it. Noooo, we have to be out of town. Bleh. Anyway, I brought a couple boxes upstairs. I even went so far as to put the artificial tree together. And then I cried even harder. And I walked away. And I felt so bad that I really felt like my throat was closing up. I couldn't breathe and I started to choke. So I took the tree apart and took the boxes back downstairs. I 'fessed up that I had gotten boxes out, but I didn't admit that I had actually assembled the tree. Somehow taking it back apart seems even more crazy.
And I cried.
And now I'm feeling down about everything in life again. I'll never be happy. No one likes me. Nothing I do is good enough. I'm going to be stuck in this living hell for the rest of my life. I'll never survive to get away from here. There's no point in going on.
All that because my family needs a gift wish list.
What the hell?
I'm trying to pick myself back up by the boot straps. I got the kitchen cleaned. I want to get all the floors cleaned before hubby gets home. We'll see. Wish me luck.
*deep breath*
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Cream of Crap Soup
Guess what I did tonight?! I cooked supper.
Oh, wait, that's nothing new.
I didn't even make a new recipe. I made our old standby "Hamburger Stroganoff" that would probably earn me a good thrashing from a Russian.
I've worked to make the recipe not quite so horrible in the health department; I use lean ground beef and usually get light sour cream too. The big problem is the fact that the sauce is about 2/3 cream of mushroom soup. (The other 1/3 is the afore-mentioned sour cream. This is not diet food)
The man of the house has slightly high blood pressure. It's type-A-personality induced high blood pressure, and some genetics too. It isn't so high that he's been threatened by his doctor and forced to take on a seriously low-sodium diet, but at the same time I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to cut back some... right? Especially considering he eats out quite a bit for work and restaurants are not known for going light on the salt.
I found a few recipes online for making your own homemade healthier substitute for cream of crap soup. There are lots of different versions. The one I did tonight was essentially just making a pretty thick white sauce that you season as desired. Butter, finely chopped mushrooms, flour, milk. If you'd rather have cream of chicken, omit the mushrooms and use half milk, half chicken broth. Or some such variation. I've also seen versions of homemade cream soup where you make up a whole big batch of a powdered mix and use what you need at the time. Honestly, I'm not sure that would really save any time though. You'd still have to mix it with the milk and heat it to get it thick. If I chop up the rest of the mushrooms and IQF them then I could whip up a batch from scratch just as fast as I could from the mix.
In case you need a hint, IQF = individually quick frozen. I do not actually have a blast freezer in my house, mine's more of an ISF. Anything I want to freeze something and not have it all stick together (diced veggies, berries, etc) I lay them out in a single layer on a cookie sheet. Into the deep freeze until they are frozen, then into big zippies or freezer boxes. Hopefully I remember to label them! They don't freeze as quickly as commercial products are frozen, but they're good enough for me.
Anyway, the verdict on tonight's supper was that it was good! Other than being obviously less salty (I never buy the low sodium condensed cream soups because I think they taste barfy) I couldn't tell a difference, especially once I added a little more salt at the table. It helps that most of the flavor of stroganoff is the sour cream. Next week I'm thinking church potatoes. We'll see how that turns out. You know what else I should try, is that hamburger noodle casserole that is GODAWFUL from a health perspective but pretty stinkin' delicious. Is the man out all next week? I can't remember. That would be a good time to experiment with that. On second thought, I'll wait on that until after the first of the year when we get new beef.
Oh, wait, that's nothing new.
I didn't even make a new recipe. I made our old standby "Hamburger Stroganoff" that would probably earn me a good thrashing from a Russian.
I've worked to make the recipe not quite so horrible in the health department; I use lean ground beef and usually get light sour cream too. The big problem is the fact that the sauce is about 2/3 cream of mushroom soup. (The other 1/3 is the afore-mentioned sour cream. This is not diet food)
The man of the house has slightly high blood pressure. It's type-A-personality induced high blood pressure, and some genetics too. It isn't so high that he's been threatened by his doctor and forced to take on a seriously low-sodium diet, but at the same time I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to cut back some... right? Especially considering he eats out quite a bit for work and restaurants are not known for going light on the salt.
I found a few recipes online for making your own homemade healthier substitute for cream of crap soup. There are lots of different versions. The one I did tonight was essentially just making a pretty thick white sauce that you season as desired. Butter, finely chopped mushrooms, flour, milk. If you'd rather have cream of chicken, omit the mushrooms and use half milk, half chicken broth. Or some such variation. I've also seen versions of homemade cream soup where you make up a whole big batch of a powdered mix and use what you need at the time. Honestly, I'm not sure that would really save any time though. You'd still have to mix it with the milk and heat it to get it thick. If I chop up the rest of the mushrooms and IQF them then I could whip up a batch from scratch just as fast as I could from the mix.
In case you need a hint, IQF = individually quick frozen. I do not actually have a blast freezer in my house, mine's more of an ISF. Anything I want to freeze something and not have it all stick together (diced veggies, berries, etc) I lay them out in a single layer on a cookie sheet. Into the deep freeze until they are frozen, then into big zippies or freezer boxes. Hopefully I remember to label them! They don't freeze as quickly as commercial products are frozen, but they're good enough for me.
Anyway, the verdict on tonight's supper was that it was good! Other than being obviously less salty (I never buy the low sodium condensed cream soups because I think they taste barfy) I couldn't tell a difference, especially once I added a little more salt at the table. It helps that most of the flavor of stroganoff is the sour cream. Next week I'm thinking church potatoes. We'll see how that turns out. You know what else I should try, is that hamburger noodle casserole that is GODAWFUL from a health perspective but pretty stinkin' delicious. Is the man out all next week? I can't remember. That would be a good time to experiment with that. On second thought, I'll wait on that until after the first of the year when we get new beef.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Hubby thinks I've gone Hippie
I haven't even shared all the things I've done with my husband, and even so he thinks I've turned into a hippie. When I 'fessed up that I had quit using commercial shampoo and conditioner, his first question was whether or not I'd shaved under my arms lately.
I'm getting ahead of myself. Yes, I quit using shampoo and conditioner. It was partly born of the fact that I had severely damaged my hair a couple years ago with gallons of hydrogen peroxide, partly because I was starting to get dandruff for the first time in my life, partly because of the horror stories (whether they're true or not) that have gone around for years about the SLS in shampoo, and partly just because I was curious. Oh yeah and it's CHEAP.
I have two 8-oz freezer jam jars I keep in my shower, and a box of baking soda and a bottle of apple cider vinegar that I keep on the shelf in my bathroom closet. Every time I want to wash my hair, I put a teaspoon of baking soda in one jar, and about 2-3 tablespoons of vinegar in the other jar, and head for the shower. First things first, I dissolve the baking soda in about a half cup of water. I carefully pour it all over my scalp and rub it in. It doesn't lather up, it really doesn't do much of anything. It just sits there. But apparently it dissolves head grease or something. Anyway I let it sit while I wash off myself and shave (because yes I do still shave!) then rinse out the baking soda really well. Then I dilute the vinegar in another approximately half cup of water and I start by dunking the ends of my long hair into the jar, and then I tip the jar over the top of my head so all my hair gets some vinegar. There are conflicting reports on whether to rinse that out or not. I have been rinsing it out, but one of these days I may leave it just to see what happens.
My experiences: the first day, I really didn't have an opinion either way. It got the grease out (I hadn't washed my hair in like 4 days before I started this experiment) but otherwise I really didn't care one way or another. The next week and a half or so, my hair really felt like how hair feels when you fail to rinse out all the conditioner. It was driving me nuts, but I stuck with it. The conditioner-residue feeling went away in about the third week after starting this (your mileage may vary) but then my hair went through a kind of frizzy stage. It still goes through swings in texture... some days it'll be frizzy, some days it'll be silky, but mostly it looks the same. The frizz/silk is only when I touch it.
I haven't really noticed any miracles with my hair. About the biggest difference I've observed is that I have a little more body at my roots. My hair is surprisingly soft for not having any conditioner on it, but it isn't "the softest hair ever" although that might be leftovers from the H2O2 damage. I can see a definitive line in both texture and color where the damage begins. Unfortunately there are miles to go before it all grows out. *sigh* Another advantage is I don't have to wash my hair in every shower anymore. Of course the downside of that will be explained in the next part of this post. All these advantages, plus the fact this costs I'm guessing less than $10 a year, I think I'll stick with the no-'poo.
The next toiletry to go hippie is... deodorant! I made my own deodorant. Seriously.
Before I elaborate on that, I should share a joke I've been telling for a while. Whenever anyone mentions Pinterest, I go "oh I hate Pinterest, just what I need in my life is a website that makes me feel guilty if I don't make my own laundry detergent!" except the stupid thing about that joke now is that I'm making my own deodorant. WTF, me?
I don't remember where I got the recipe now but basically it's just coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch or arrowroot powder, and essential oils.
I'm still not sure if I'm sold or not. One thing I've learned is that the odor control really doesn't work if I don't shower regularly. Even if I add more deodorant every day, it kinda loses its oomph after 2 days. Yeah yeah I know, who the hell doesn't shower at least every other day? Well, I'm a somewhat lazy housewife. I've been known to go 4 days between showers before, because nobody knows, because I never leave the house. Before I went no-'poo, my greasy hair would always be the when-I'm-due-for-a-shower indicator because I had naturally oily hair and about 36 hours would be the absolute limit on how long I could go before I looked just nasty and it itched like crazy. Well, now, I've gone 4 days between showers and my hair still isn't greasy. I should have mentioned that a couple paragraphs ago. Anyway, the point of my story is that now it's my stinky pits that tell me when I need a shower, but unfortunately a couple times I've missed the sign until after I was out in public. *sigh* I need to do a better job of showering regularly.
I really know how to paint myself in a good light, don't I??? *eye roll* I'm lazy and stinky. Yup, that's me!
The good news is it seems if I manage to shower regularly and keep my underarms shaved (because all those little hairs just provide more surface area for more stinky bacteria to grow and multiply) the hippie deodorant seems to work pretty well. So far. We'll see how it holds up to our miserable hot humid summers. I intentionally started it in November so I had a few months to acclimate to it before the season of hell. This isn't an antiperspirant. The baking soda and cornstarch/arrowroot powder can absorb a bit of moisture, but not much. So we'll see what happens come sweaty weather. Oh, and last week I started to notice a bit of oily reside on a couple shirts, but I think that was a case of putting on way too much deodorant and then putting a shirt on before the oil had soaked in. It appears to have come off quite nicely with only a bit of effort in the laundry. I'll give it some more time and experiment a bit with less deodorant, a bit of soaking-in time, and whatnot.
Of course another thing to consider is that what comes out of your pits is influenced by what goes into your mouth. But that's a challenge for another month.
At the risk of this being the LONGEST POST IN HISTORY, I have one more thing to share. December's project (and this one will go on longer, since instead of a daily test I only have a weekly test) is laundry. I have started using soap nuts instead of commercial detergent. I have a lot of other things I want to try. And the scientist in me wants to set up some controlled experiments.
Okay, signing off for today!
I'm getting ahead of myself. Yes, I quit using shampoo and conditioner. It was partly born of the fact that I had severely damaged my hair a couple years ago with gallons of hydrogen peroxide, partly because I was starting to get dandruff for the first time in my life, partly because of the horror stories (whether they're true or not) that have gone around for years about the SLS in shampoo, and partly just because I was curious. Oh yeah and it's CHEAP.
I have two 8-oz freezer jam jars I keep in my shower, and a box of baking soda and a bottle of apple cider vinegar that I keep on the shelf in my bathroom closet. Every time I want to wash my hair, I put a teaspoon of baking soda in one jar, and about 2-3 tablespoons of vinegar in the other jar, and head for the shower. First things first, I dissolve the baking soda in about a half cup of water. I carefully pour it all over my scalp and rub it in. It doesn't lather up, it really doesn't do much of anything. It just sits there. But apparently it dissolves head grease or something. Anyway I let it sit while I wash off myself and shave (because yes I do still shave!) then rinse out the baking soda really well. Then I dilute the vinegar in another approximately half cup of water and I start by dunking the ends of my long hair into the jar, and then I tip the jar over the top of my head so all my hair gets some vinegar. There are conflicting reports on whether to rinse that out or not. I have been rinsing it out, but one of these days I may leave it just to see what happens.
My experiences: the first day, I really didn't have an opinion either way. It got the grease out (I hadn't washed my hair in like 4 days before I started this experiment) but otherwise I really didn't care one way or another. The next week and a half or so, my hair really felt like how hair feels when you fail to rinse out all the conditioner. It was driving me nuts, but I stuck with it. The conditioner-residue feeling went away in about the third week after starting this (your mileage may vary) but then my hair went through a kind of frizzy stage. It still goes through swings in texture... some days it'll be frizzy, some days it'll be silky, but mostly it looks the same. The frizz/silk is only when I touch it.
I haven't really noticed any miracles with my hair. About the biggest difference I've observed is that I have a little more body at my roots. My hair is surprisingly soft for not having any conditioner on it, but it isn't "the softest hair ever" although that might be leftovers from the H2O2 damage. I can see a definitive line in both texture and color where the damage begins. Unfortunately there are miles to go before it all grows out. *sigh* Another advantage is I don't have to wash my hair in every shower anymore. Of course the downside of that will be explained in the next part of this post. All these advantages, plus the fact this costs I'm guessing less than $10 a year, I think I'll stick with the no-'poo.
The next toiletry to go hippie is... deodorant! I made my own deodorant. Seriously.
Before I elaborate on that, I should share a joke I've been telling for a while. Whenever anyone mentions Pinterest, I go "oh I hate Pinterest, just what I need in my life is a website that makes me feel guilty if I don't make my own laundry detergent!" except the stupid thing about that joke now is that I'm making my own deodorant. WTF, me?
I don't remember where I got the recipe now but basically it's just coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch or arrowroot powder, and essential oils.
I'm still not sure if I'm sold or not. One thing I've learned is that the odor control really doesn't work if I don't shower regularly. Even if I add more deodorant every day, it kinda loses its oomph after 2 days. Yeah yeah I know, who the hell doesn't shower at least every other day? Well, I'm a somewhat lazy housewife. I've been known to go 4 days between showers before, because nobody knows, because I never leave the house. Before I went no-'poo, my greasy hair would always be the when-I'm-due-for-a-shower indicator because I had naturally oily hair and about 36 hours would be the absolute limit on how long I could go before I looked just nasty and it itched like crazy. Well, now, I've gone 4 days between showers and my hair still isn't greasy. I should have mentioned that a couple paragraphs ago. Anyway, the point of my story is that now it's my stinky pits that tell me when I need a shower, but unfortunately a couple times I've missed the sign until after I was out in public. *sigh* I need to do a better job of showering regularly.
I really know how to paint myself in a good light, don't I??? *eye roll* I'm lazy and stinky. Yup, that's me!
The good news is it seems if I manage to shower regularly and keep my underarms shaved (because all those little hairs just provide more surface area for more stinky bacteria to grow and multiply) the hippie deodorant seems to work pretty well. So far. We'll see how it holds up to our miserable hot humid summers. I intentionally started it in November so I had a few months to acclimate to it before the season of hell. This isn't an antiperspirant. The baking soda and cornstarch/arrowroot powder can absorb a bit of moisture, but not much. So we'll see what happens come sweaty weather. Oh, and last week I started to notice a bit of oily reside on a couple shirts, but I think that was a case of putting on way too much deodorant and then putting a shirt on before the oil had soaked in. It appears to have come off quite nicely with only a bit of effort in the laundry. I'll give it some more time and experiment a bit with less deodorant, a bit of soaking-in time, and whatnot.
Of course another thing to consider is that what comes out of your pits is influenced by what goes into your mouth. But that's a challenge for another month.
At the risk of this being the LONGEST POST IN HISTORY, I have one more thing to share. December's project (and this one will go on longer, since instead of a daily test I only have a weekly test) is laundry. I have started using soap nuts instead of commercial detergent. I have a lot of other things I want to try. And the scientist in me wants to set up some controlled experiments.
Okay, signing off for today!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
All In
There was a pretty good breakthrough here today. I swallowed all my pride and fear and anxiety and nervousness and everything else and actually told the hubbster about this homesteading mission I'm on.
The scariest part was that I started by really tearing into our marriage. It's a very long story, and probably not all that interesting, but the short version is that I have been flat-out miserable for nearly all of our marriage. I already kind of covered that in a previous post though. I really laid out all my I-hate-my-life things. I actually used the terms "lawyer or undertaker" in a sentence about how I viewed an improved future. Yikes, right?
But really, I should say I hated my life. Past tense. I honestly feel like I am starting to find my purpose. I've been working through a guide on how to create your very own homestead, no matter what situation you find yourself in. I'm not linking because I'm still feeling all private and like to hide, but if you search for custom homestead, it'll pop up. I actually wrote a mission statement. I've been assigned "write a mission statement" a few times in the past either at work or school, and I always DREADED those tasks. I felt so completely dorky, I never really meant it and just wrote down whatever sounded the most impressive, and they never did anything (probably because I didn't mean it... funny how that works) This time though, it just kind of flowed out of me. My mission statement:
To use my skills and abilities to provide for my family. To find my purpose and usefulness in life through basic, simple, old-fashioned ways.
Allow me to clarify a bit; by "old-fashioned" I mean tried and true through eons of humanity. I don't mean stodgy old fuddy duddy backwards thinking. And also, deep in my heart, my strongest interests in life are the basic and simple ways. Always have been. Well, except for the Sync in my car. I love that shit. But my car also has a manual transmission, so I'm kind of a walking talking contradiction.
Anyway, I told my man that for the first time in nearly a decade, I'm having a fantasy for the future that he is actually in. I've always been a dreamer, and I've always fantasized about the future. In some ways, I think that has worked against me because I'm not very good at living in the "now", but I am working towards using it as an advantage to enjoy life now in ways that prepare me for what may come. Ooooooh and by "prepare me for what may come", I mean for whatever lifestyle I'll be in when we move away from this god-forsaken hellhole. I don't mean that I'm becoming a doomsday prepper. Just wanted to clarify that. Again. I feel very strongly about not becoming one of them. Once again, see that previous post I linked above. Anyway, since I got married all my fantasies have involved me finding myself single again. Or have involved backwards time travel. I am very excited to have one where he and I are both still alive, still married, and still living under the same roof. (there was one fantasy that involved still being married but having separate houses... in separate towns)
I explained to him a bit about what homesteading means to me. I briefly touched on some sweeping generalizations of my goals. I paraphrased my mission statement (didn't have the binder with me at the time and didn't want to get out from under the cozy blanket). And I explained to him how my goals worked towards our future and how I'm keeping this flexible because even though we have our dream (and it's mostly a shared dream, thankfully) we also know that things can change and who knows where we'll end up in the next dozen years. I told him that some of these things I'll want to do on my own, and some I know he won't care to participate in. But other times if he wants to join in I'd appreciate the help and there will be some times that I'll want to do something that is just beyond me and I will need his assistance. And ultimately, I truly want him in my dream and in my future.
And lastly, I also shared with him how I see our potential to work together as a team. We both have our strengths. I am a dreamer, always have been. I can visualize things, I can make plans, I can create a glorious world inside my head. Implementing the plans is where I come up short. He is a doer, a go-getter. He'll jump headfirst into a project and be half done before I even get my shoes on. His shortcoming is that the headfirst jumping is usually also before he has any idea of what he should be doing and he can't visualize anything. If we both can manage to put aside our collective pride, and acknowledge each others strengths and our own weaknesses, I think we have the potential to do absolutely anything we set our minds to.
And he's all in. He is happy that I'm finding a way to feel my purpose in life and he says he will support me and help whenever I want or need it and also stay out of my way when I'm feeling independent. He says he will work on listening to me when I have ideas and suggestions, and I will make an effort to actually do what I say I will in a punctual manner.
I'm happy, he's happy. The dog is oblivious, but that's normal. He's on my bed, snoring.
The scariest part was that I started by really tearing into our marriage. It's a very long story, and probably not all that interesting, but the short version is that I have been flat-out miserable for nearly all of our marriage. I already kind of covered that in a previous post though. I really laid out all my I-hate-my-life things. I actually used the terms "lawyer or undertaker" in a sentence about how I viewed an improved future. Yikes, right?
But really, I should say I hated my life. Past tense. I honestly feel like I am starting to find my purpose. I've been working through a guide on how to create your very own homestead, no matter what situation you find yourself in. I'm not linking because I'm still feeling all private and like to hide, but if you search for custom homestead, it'll pop up. I actually wrote a mission statement. I've been assigned "write a mission statement" a few times in the past either at work or school, and I always DREADED those tasks. I felt so completely dorky, I never really meant it and just wrote down whatever sounded the most impressive, and they never did anything (probably because I didn't mean it... funny how that works) This time though, it just kind of flowed out of me. My mission statement:
To use my skills and abilities to provide for my family. To find my purpose and usefulness in life through basic, simple, old-fashioned ways.
Allow me to clarify a bit; by "old-fashioned" I mean tried and true through eons of humanity. I don't mean stodgy old fuddy duddy backwards thinking. And also, deep in my heart, my strongest interests in life are the basic and simple ways. Always have been. Well, except for the Sync in my car. I love that shit. But my car also has a manual transmission, so I'm kind of a walking talking contradiction.
Anyway, I told my man that for the first time in nearly a decade, I'm having a fantasy for the future that he is actually in. I've always been a dreamer, and I've always fantasized about the future. In some ways, I think that has worked against me because I'm not very good at living in the "now", but I am working towards using it as an advantage to enjoy life now in ways that prepare me for what may come. Ooooooh and by "prepare me for what may come", I mean for whatever lifestyle I'll be in when we move away from this god-forsaken hellhole. I don't mean that I'm becoming a doomsday prepper. Just wanted to clarify that. Again. I feel very strongly about not becoming one of them. Once again, see that previous post I linked above. Anyway, since I got married all my fantasies have involved me finding myself single again. Or have involved backwards time travel. I am very excited to have one where he and I are both still alive, still married, and still living under the same roof. (there was one fantasy that involved still being married but having separate houses... in separate towns)
I explained to him a bit about what homesteading means to me. I briefly touched on some sweeping generalizations of my goals. I paraphrased my mission statement (didn't have the binder with me at the time and didn't want to get out from under the cozy blanket). And I explained to him how my goals worked towards our future and how I'm keeping this flexible because even though we have our dream (and it's mostly a shared dream, thankfully) we also know that things can change and who knows where we'll end up in the next dozen years. I told him that some of these things I'll want to do on my own, and some I know he won't care to participate in. But other times if he wants to join in I'd appreciate the help and there will be some times that I'll want to do something that is just beyond me and I will need his assistance. And ultimately, I truly want him in my dream and in my future.
And lastly, I also shared with him how I see our potential to work together as a team. We both have our strengths. I am a dreamer, always have been. I can visualize things, I can make plans, I can create a glorious world inside my head. Implementing the plans is where I come up short. He is a doer, a go-getter. He'll jump headfirst into a project and be half done before I even get my shoes on. His shortcoming is that the headfirst jumping is usually also before he has any idea of what he should be doing and he can't visualize anything. If we both can manage to put aside our collective pride, and acknowledge each others strengths and our own weaknesses, I think we have the potential to do absolutely anything we set our minds to.
And he's all in. He is happy that I'm finding a way to feel my purpose in life and he says he will support me and help whenever I want or need it and also stay out of my way when I'm feeling independent. He says he will work on listening to me when I have ideas and suggestions, and I will make an effort to actually do what I say I will in a punctual manner.
I'm happy, he's happy. The dog is oblivious, but that's normal. He's on my bed, snoring.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
A little nutty
The amazon gods appeared today. Not really, my local rural postal carrier appeared today bringing me a box from the amazon gods. I got a box of soap nuts! I know I wasn't supposed to start homesteading laundry until December but I may start early.
Although as I think about it, I will wait one more week. Gonna do laundry normally next week, then wash both sets of bedding and maybe even the pupper's blanket with soap nuts to clean out the washer like the soap nuts package says to do. Then soap nuts laundry week after next. Oh yeah and this week also gonna do a bit of pit scrubbing. Gonna give the soap nuts the best chance they can get.
Still not sure about this deodorant. On one hand, I don't seem any sweatier than usual. (Sweatier? I think I'm making up words) But I'm not sure about the odor control. But maybe I should shower more often.
Also, this post really is a bit nutty. I may or may not be drunk. In-laws are visiting. Teetotalling Jesus-freaks. They left me unattended for a bit. I had fruit loop milk. That shit is delicious. Now I'm trying to both pretend I'm sober and refrain from cursing at the TV. It's not going well. I have to stay on their good side though because they're the current owners of my Little Farm in the North. *sigh*
Monday, November 5, 2012
My Life in a Mason Jar
I'm seriously tempted to change the name of this blog. Do you have any idea how many mason jars are floating around my life right now? Let's analyze:
I just counted 181 jars of varying sizes full of food in my canning cabinet (no I didn't count them for giggles, I was doing an inventory) (I might have gone a bit overboard... we're never going to get through all that salsa...) (and that's not counting the 4 sitting on my kitchen counter to be used soon and the half dozen open jars in the fridge) (I like parentheses)
I use freezer-jam jars to make homemade yogurt, usually 6 jars at a time
I have two more freezer-jam jars in my shower to dilute the baking soda and apple cider vinegar to wash my hair
I have a half pint jar downstairs and a jelly jar upstairs containing my homemade deodorant
There is a pint jar with holes poked in one lid (covered with another lid to keep it fresh and from stinking up the place) in the spice cabinet holding hubby's rib rub
Also I don't currently have any of these jars but have in the past: homemade semi-instant oatmeal mix, chai tea mix, beef jerky, bits and bobs in the garage (actually there might still be some of those, I haven't looked) (although most of those aren't actually mason jars, somehow my hubby got a massive collection of baby food jars, I'm not quite sure how that happened since he has never procreated nor has he lived in the same state as a baby relative) and probably other things I am not thinking of right now. There's another jar somewhere with more holes poked in the lid that I've used to hatch out butterflies and moths. Entomology nerd.
And I want more!!! I found these adorable little soap pump lids that go on mason jars for next to your bathroom sinks and whatnot. And there will probably be other ideas as time goes on. The more homemade things I make, the more I shove things in mason jars. December's homesteading project is laundry, I have soap nuts sitting in my amazon cart just waiting for me to decide what else to put in there and punch in my gift card number and hit the free super saver shipping button. I hear that soap nuts work best in hot water but I'm lazy and my water heater sucks so I'll probably be making them into soap nut liquid detergent which I'm sure will also go into a mason jar.
Also saw a cute idea for making candles in mason jars. Safety first - make sure they won't break or damage whatever they're sitting on. But it looked like a good idea!
Anyway, I should go be productive. Just wanted to babble about my love for the simple mason jar.
I just counted 181 jars of varying sizes full of food in my canning cabinet (no I didn't count them for giggles, I was doing an inventory) (I might have gone a bit overboard... we're never going to get through all that salsa...) (and that's not counting the 4 sitting on my kitchen counter to be used soon and the half dozen open jars in the fridge) (I like parentheses)
I use freezer-jam jars to make homemade yogurt, usually 6 jars at a time
I have two more freezer-jam jars in my shower to dilute the baking soda and apple cider vinegar to wash my hair
I have a half pint jar downstairs and a jelly jar upstairs containing my homemade deodorant
There is a pint jar with holes poked in one lid (covered with another lid to keep it fresh and from stinking up the place) in the spice cabinet holding hubby's rib rub
Also I don't currently have any of these jars but have in the past: homemade semi-instant oatmeal mix, chai tea mix, beef jerky, bits and bobs in the garage (actually there might still be some of those, I haven't looked) (although most of those aren't actually mason jars, somehow my hubby got a massive collection of baby food jars, I'm not quite sure how that happened since he has never procreated nor has he lived in the same state as a baby relative) and probably other things I am not thinking of right now. There's another jar somewhere with more holes poked in the lid that I've used to hatch out butterflies and moths. Entomology nerd.
And I want more!!! I found these adorable little soap pump lids that go on mason jars for next to your bathroom sinks and whatnot. And there will probably be other ideas as time goes on. The more homemade things I make, the more I shove things in mason jars. December's homesteading project is laundry, I have soap nuts sitting in my amazon cart just waiting for me to decide what else to put in there and punch in my gift card number and hit the free super saver shipping button. I hear that soap nuts work best in hot water but I'm lazy and my water heater sucks so I'll probably be making them into soap nut liquid detergent which I'm sure will also go into a mason jar.
Also saw a cute idea for making candles in mason jars. Safety first - make sure they won't break or damage whatever they're sitting on. But it looked like a good idea!
Anyway, I should go be productive. Just wanted to babble about my love for the simple mason jar.
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