Springtime Fantasies

I am a winter person.  I love winter. My favorite sports are all related to snow and ice. 

And then I moved to a place dominated by summer... and misery. 

Winter around here is typically pretty chilly and windy, but mostly brown.  And as this pathetic snow-less winter drags into an even more dreary no-longer-winter-but-not-yet-spring season, I start dreaming of spring.  Visions start running through my head.  Beautiful ones, not the horrifically terrifying visions I have in that half hour between laying down in bed and falling asleep, but that's a story for another day. 

I have visions of glorious colorful flowers.  Visions of a bountiful vegetable garden.  Fragrant herbs in terracotta pots on my patio.  My front porch and white picket fence all cleaned up and mold-free.  Me frolicking gaily around my yard in a sundress and big floppy straw hat. 

And then (because I have an extremely vivid imagination) my visions get even more elaborate.  I'm taking all those delicious vegetables and herbs and preserving them in various states and recipes with my canner.  I've swapped my big floppy straw hat for a yellow apron.  I see a stuffed canning cabinet, with so much food, bold colors in sparkling clear jars, ready and waiting to perk me up during another gloomy winter. 

But then reality sets in.  And I remember the following:

• we have crappy clay soil that won't grow much of anything except weeds and moles
• it gets beastly hot and humid here in the summer and I don't ever want to be outside except to be in the pool
• the only place we have to garden is across the driveway and more than a hose-length from the nearest water spigot
• I don't look good in a sundress
• the deer/rabbits/other creatures like to eat any flowers/vegetables/herbs/small trees/etc
• canning is no fun during August because the air conditioner can't keep up with all the boiling water

Basically the only realistic things from my visions are that I do own both a big floppy straw hat and a yellow apron.  I think I'll just let the farmer's market take care of the vegetable and herb production this year.  And my husband is actually better at flowers than I am.  I will still do the canning, but hopefully be able to schedule it for a rare cool or at least cloudy day. 

And I will power-wash the front of the house.   Possibly tomorrow if the wind dies down.