Turtle

I know slow and steady wins the race, but I'm having a tough time accepting that.  I want what I want, and I want it now!  At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be 40 before I reach my goal.  I know I could lose weight faster... go on any of the many mainstream diet plans...  but I wouldn't stick with it.  It wouldn't be a life-long change for the better.  So, I'm gonna strap on my turtle shell and self-correct from yesterday and see how things work out. 

I'm super emotional right now too.  Marriage problems.  Last night I watched Tangled, the new Disney take on Rapunzel.  And I saw my marriage in the fake mother-daughter relationship.  No, I don't have magical hair.  But anyone could see the dysfunction in their relationship... and I was just fine with it, blah de dah, right up until the first time with the "I love you""I love you more""I love you most" bit.  And I was reminded so much of how the man can never say "I'm sorry" or anything even remotely close to admitting he might have made a mistake.  Any time he's done something to hurt me, it's "I love you?" always in a question way.  He's not telling me he loves me, and he's not apologizing for anything.  He's asking if I still love him.  He's never done any one thing directly to me to make me feel I need to leave, but he's also never done anything to make me want to stay.  And he has done a sum total, cumulative effect of lots of things to make me want to leave.  I need to hunt down K2's shrink's number again.  I'm really feeling it's time to go.  Except I signed up for the path finder.  Maybe I should give that a shot first.  I mean after 6.5 years, what's another 5 weeks?  Except I'm feeling the ambition right now.  Which, history has taught me, will be fleeting. 

Hmm.

Still sleepy.  Been up since 3:30.  Nap time?